Confession

I thought about suicide but can't rationalize it. Logic never goes out of my mind.

When you know what you were what you are is never appealing.

The mask

Every day living with the walking masks. No one knows the reality. Why do we as humans feel we must hide? Every day I go to my 9-5 and I place on that mask.  I don't know how I make it everyday. Today the pain is making me light headed and I have to hide it. No one cares I know but I'm sick of hiding behind the "chipper rainbow and sunshine" persona. Why has America forced us to be this way? Working until we die with nothing accomplished.

I will give up this corporate world for my passion. I will not die wondering about shoulda coulda wouldas. I'm not mundane.

When a total stranger tells you that you belong together w/your husband you can't deny it. I already knew it, but for a stranger to say that's only seen us together for ten minutes...feels...idk...magical.

Sometimes it's the darkness that awaits reminding you that the light isn't a necessity.

Lonely.

I miss the pack that lived across the street. I miss the lion that lived through the woods. I miss the pack that lived in the neighborhood up the road. There used to be others similar to me in the surrounding areas. Now I'm alone. No one like me. My husband tries but in the end I've got the animal soul and he's got horns.

Will I ever get my stripes back?

Sometimes I'd rather just give up but I'm too strongfor some fucking reason. I'm friggin almost 100 I'm cat years man.