When a total stranger tells you that you belong together w/your husband you can't deny it. I already knew it, but for a stranger to say that's only seen us together for ten minutes...feels...idk...magical.

Sometimes it's the darkness that awaits reminding you that the light isn't a necessity.

Lonely.

I miss the pack that lived across the street. I miss the lion that lived through the woods. I miss the pack that lived in the neighborhood up the road. There used to be others similar to me in the surrounding areas. Now I'm alone. No one like me. My husband tries but in the end I've got the animal soul and he's got horns.

Will I ever get my stripes back?

Sometimes I'd rather just give up but I'm too strongfor some fucking reason. I'm friggin almost 100 I'm cat years man.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing. All the universe has done is give up on me. Then I realize She hasn't. She knows I can do it but its hard. I want to give up sometimes. The pain gets too much and I'm ready to run the jungle again.

In these moments.

I wish my mother was here. I need that support, that shoulder to cry on, and unbiased advice. I long for those all night conversations and her telling it like it is.

Up to the day she passed I never told her about me and it hurts knowing there was lies. I want her back but am glad she's gone b/c she has no more issues.

Some nights I feel alone. There are things that only my mom knew b/c I could tell her everything. I miss that. I miss her singing. I miss her smile. I miss her smell. She's not going to be here for one if the biggest days of my life. I miss her so much.