Cheating??

So I had a long conversation with a friend and tried to define what cheating is. From my pov and the way I think of relationships in general determines what cheating is for me. Cheating is getting emotionally or physically involved behind someones back. Right now the relationship that I am we both know that the mundane need to marry and settle down just doesn't make sense when your life expectancy is more than 30 years, and the til death do us part makes no sense at all. There are things, very few things, that I am not willing to do or just feel uncomfortable doing sexually so I cannot hold someone else from things that they enjoy. My partner is allowed to make sure those needs are met as long as I know about it and it doesn't happen too often. The same goes for me. No! emotional involvement ever. If there is even the smallest inkling of some sort of emotional connection it is time to get out of that one time fling b/c that becomes dangerous ground. Been there destroyed that, not fun. Love and be loved.

Now my friend feels that cheating is anything with anyone who is not the person you are committed to. Committed to also means living together even if you are in an open relationship. Holding hands, kissing, most def anything of the sexual nature and even simply flirting. Not quite that Christian sense of biblical togetherness but damn near close. It kind of made me feel like a sexual deviant and just plan dirty and wrong. Well, until I realize I have a lot more fun. He was hurt though. Very hurt by someone who lied to him and that formed something inside of him and he needs to not hurt any more or again. That I understand. When shit happens it changes you especially when its something that burns into your psyche. Be one and with one.

Most importantly be true to your self. Don't let anyone tell you what you should feel or how you should act. Be happy. I still try to get married even though I don't really want to just b/c it was ground into me when I was little. I know that I will not be happy in marriage right now but its still inside. I am not a slut by all means. I can name most if not all of my partners and in the last 4 years i can count them all on one hand.....ok 2 hands. I know what most of them are up and we're still very close. I am very careful and not an idiot. If I'm going to catch a disease and die it will not be a STI, for sure.

Cheating.....what is it? why is it?