Dear Girl,
I understand that you are not used to having to behave like an adult. I have known you, well I guess more like of you, for a year. All the time I have known you there are always the same conversations and mistakes being made. One time it is a mistake the second, and all times after, is a choice being made. We have all gone through life at some point where it seemed to always, as you say, suck. Guess what…this is what life is about. Learning experiences. I understand that you are a sympathetic vampire and that brings a lot of chaos to your life. No one is going to want to help you and teach you because you are so fucking whiny and cannot take responsibility for your own actions. You are in your mid twenties I believe and you should not be making the same mistakes you made as a 17 year old. You got fired from your job which was in and of itself your fault for being hung over and taking a nap while you were supposed to be working. An adult would immediately look for other work. In the whirl wind of job hunting you still have the option to file for unemployment to bring in some sort of income so that you do not get kicked out of your apartment. Having vampiric tendencies also gives you a hand up during interview processes and call backs. Of course you do not know how to use such advantages. V-neck sweaters will only get you so far sweetheart. But instead you prefer to play the Cullen role and be a whiny little bitch. Shut the fuck up and do something about it.
When life gives you obstacles you are to run past them or go over them not stand there looking at them and crying. You allow your boyfriend who I am pretty sure is abusive in one form or another get away with murder. Your parents helped you get the apartment so he cannot make the rules and he cannot keep the money from you. You took care of his ass when you were working full time it is time for him to return the favor. If you need gas money or a ride to work he is the one you are supposed to be reaching out to not the people you barely know and caused conflict with. You let him walk all over you because you want someone to want you. Sorry to say he’s fucking someone behind your back. He is holding having a job over you because you are not trying to get another job. My man did a work spell for you but because you are so lazy and just want things to complain about you did not hold up your end of the bargain. He told you that if you are not actively looking for work that you will not find it. You seem to think he has failed because you did not get a 9-5 in retail or an office, but aren’t you fixing computers? Are you not being paid for work that would not have come your way if the universe had not been asked to assist? Now is the time you should say thank you. He went with a spirit to aid you and he would not reward Him until you had incoming work. So you are an ungrateful little slut.
You are used to being handed the world by your parents. The smart move would be to go home and let them take care of you since you are not smart enough to take care of yourself. When you do get money you use it on alcohol and drugs instead of things like food, toilet paper and soap. Things that you know you need. You surround yourself with negativity and wonder why only bad shit happens. I learned that lesson when I was younger than you. I have been through the worst part of my life at this point when I was your age and younger. I lost the one person that I thought would love me forever. I had all material possessions destroyed and I was diagnosed with cancer. I fell in love again just to personally fuck it up and lose him. I thought it was horrible and the world was against until I did realize that it only got worse because I was only embracing the bad. Turn your life around by turning your views around. I am not giving you no inspirational speaker bullshit. I am telling you what is real. Words are power and that power will follow the energy in those words. You keep saying the world is out to get you guess what the world will be out to get you. Take a breath and realize the world is what you make of it. Think of every day as the map to your future. You have to draw your own path. Climb out the pity party hole and take it by the horns. A little positivity goes a long way. No one is going to be there to always take care of you.
You need to learn to take care of yourself. You lost your job. You’re a cutter. You’re an alcoholic. Honestly you’re one breath away from killing yourself or someone else. If you don’t get your shit together you’re going to lose in a big way. Stop talking about how bad it is and do something to make it better. Get off your ass and start looking for a job. You cannot be turned down for something that I was hired to do. You cannot be choosey at this point. Who cares if you want to be a executive at some computer company? You are not going to get there by sitting on your ass and doing nothing. Initiative is what employers want. You got laid off so what did you do? Some employer will ask you that and your answer will be ‘I did nothing because it was not handed to me’. We’ve all done crappy jobs while working to better ourselves. I worked 7-11 twice! You think that I liked it? You think that there weren’t times where I realized my potential was being wasted? Guess what I went out there and applied at jobs while I was working because I knew that place was not going to be my life but a stepping stone to a better place. You gotta do some slop jobs to get where you want to be. You need a dream and a passion. Do not allow someone to dictate what you can dream. If you have no ambition then you might as well forget life and settle for popping out babies and being barefoot in the kitchen because that is what you're going to be good for. If you don’t want to make something of yourself you cannot blame others for your failures. There are times where I want to give up working hard to be a published author because there is so much more to it than just writing and being creative. Then I remember it is my passion and no one can take that from me. You cannot be lazy and expect the world to deliver wealth to you just because you want it.
Struggles are where you learn the most about yourself. If you give up then you know that you are a quitter and will never amount to anything. If you find a way out one way or another no matter what then you’ll know that you are a fighter and can achieve anything. So shut the hell up, stop lying, take a shower and get out there and make something of yourself.
Sincerely,
One pissed off cat.
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