Monday, November 9, 2009
Sum up my music life.
I am that rocker chick with a hip-hop soul and an emo heart line dancing in my fishnets and motorcycle boots flashing the red gold and green underneath the disco ball headbanging while humming pop beats swinging my hips to the salsa rhythm of the night with my smudge proof line and body glitter strumming the four chords waving my hands in the air avoiding the flashing lights smoothing the wrinkles out the hot pink tutu hearing the violen whisper tomorrow may never come sharing kisses with whats-her-name bouncing on my toes cuz i want it that way. That's the way I like it.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Young Marriages
I have been watching a few things over the last few months. One thing that I have noticed is that people are getting married younger and younger. I don't understand why would anyone want to get married so young. I realized as a child yea I wanted to get married and have that fairy tale day....until I was a teenager. I realized that I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life with one person starting off that young. I am also not promiscuous as other people are. I just feel that I should be out of my twenties before I decided that this one person is mine. It has to be 90% of those marriages have to fail. That is time you cannot get back and things that you have done you may never forget bad or good. There are obviously some good things but there is no way the good out weighs the bad.
I found out that my little sister is pregnant or rather just gave birth and she is under the age of 20. I don't know how it happened because we live apart now but I know we were raised the same until the end. She lost a lot that I tried to give her back but was too late. Now her life is gone. When I see things like this it upsets me and I see just another statistic. At some point there is going to be that thought of regret. My mother told me once when I was little that she wished she had had that abortion b/c she wasn't able to go on with her life the way she planned. Years later once she saw who I was as a person she apologized and was happy that she had me. She realized that she had lost 15 years of her life but gained someone special out of it. Before she passed we had mended out relationship and were friends. What happens when that person isn't a child? She had still had that thought. Marriages are already failing with adults why are children doing it now??
I just had a thought. I'm done.
I found out that my little sister is pregnant or rather just gave birth and she is under the age of 20. I don't know how it happened because we live apart now but I know we were raised the same until the end. She lost a lot that I tried to give her back but was too late. Now her life is gone. When I see things like this it upsets me and I see just another statistic. At some point there is going to be that thought of regret. My mother told me once when I was little that she wished she had had that abortion b/c she wasn't able to go on with her life the way she planned. Years later once she saw who I was as a person she apologized and was happy that she had me. She realized that she had lost 15 years of her life but gained someone special out of it. Before she passed we had mended out relationship and were friends. What happens when that person isn't a child? She had still had that thought. Marriages are already failing with adults why are children doing it now??
I just had a thought. I'm done.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Wingman or wing woman? titles don't matter
Just got a call from a co-worker. Apparently I am the best wing man ever. I talk to everyone at work just b/c you never know who you may need to rely on. I talk about the people I know there b/c I hang out with them. This guy who we'll call Paul calls me and says "Tamz thanks girl you are the best wing man ever". Some long forgotten conversations that I had with Jerry the cute little gay guy I befriended right out of training left strong impressions. So they hooked up last night and have some sort of relationship. This is like the third maybe forth time I've aided in someone's love life. I might have future I never considered
Two vampires and two lycans walk into a party…..
How nice it would have been if that had been the beginning of a joke and not my Friday night. It was funny. There were probably about 2 real occultist, 1 practitioner, 1 energy worker, 10 wannabes and me. I don’t know where I fit there yet b/c I’m all over the place with my studies. There were two vampires, a wolf boy and me ya know we were one dragon short of a D&D deck. LOL! Of course if when I say vampire, you’re thinking count Dracula a blood sucker then you read too many novels. If you know what I’m talking about then thank you.
It had been a while since I had been around another O.K. person. I like puppies so the fact that it was a wolf was not lost on me. Then shortly there after, I remembered why I don’t bring puppies home. Who cries in the middle of a party and falls asleep on someone else’s couch??? Wolf boy, like all that I have met, tall dark and ok looking with long hair proved to be as depressed as the rest. Are the newly awakened always so….moody and weak? I remember being a little weak but not because of what I am or someone who broke up with me. I was very ill and that depressed me at a younger age but never in the middle of someone’s birthday that I don’t even know. So wolf boy was a bust and I was left being the only non-vamp non-mundane at the party. Then the argument btwn the wanna-bes and the reals got into there usual bickering. When you tell me someone is magically being attacked as they stand by me and say you're helping them out then you need to prove it to me. I don’t walk into a room and not feel energy shifting through it. I don’t like people to lie to my face and think I won’t notice. There wasn’t anyone being attacked by energy only by bad cases of alcoholism. I’m not big at socializing and when a room gets filled with drunken crazy people it scares me in a funny way. The drunkest and the craziest always seem to be drawn to me. So when the wanna-be fang set popped by and started chatting me up it was no surprise. She called me chaos b/c she couldn’t remember my name. I don’t think of myself as chaos but of course with my shields swirling around me to protect me from the ambient energy it may have felt chaotic. I am pretty much the one kept together in one motion and am pretty predictable, which is the opposite of chaos. Trying to channel the crazy while the wolf if being all depressed was a lot more work when you’re also filtering the drunk out.
I just want to find more people like me who are pass being adolescents. I know when people are awakened or whatever you want to call it then it can take time to get mature in your new skin, pun very much intended. Ya know, there are houses and groups all over the nation let alone the world of vampire and fae but very few others. I had a pride once……a long, long time ago. I miss it. A lot. But it is what it is. Some of us are solitary I just have to remember that.
It had been a while since I had been around another O.K. person. I like puppies so the fact that it was a wolf was not lost on me. Then shortly there after, I remembered why I don’t bring puppies home. Who cries in the middle of a party and falls asleep on someone else’s couch??? Wolf boy, like all that I have met, tall dark and ok looking with long hair proved to be as depressed as the rest. Are the newly awakened always so….moody and weak? I remember being a little weak but not because of what I am or someone who broke up with me. I was very ill and that depressed me at a younger age but never in the middle of someone’s birthday that I don’t even know. So wolf boy was a bust and I was left being the only non-vamp non-mundane at the party. Then the argument btwn the wanna-bes and the reals got into there usual bickering. When you tell me someone is magically being attacked as they stand by me and say you're helping them out then you need to prove it to me. I don’t walk into a room and not feel energy shifting through it. I don’t like people to lie to my face and think I won’t notice. There wasn’t anyone being attacked by energy only by bad cases of alcoholism. I’m not big at socializing and when a room gets filled with drunken crazy people it scares me in a funny way. The drunkest and the craziest always seem to be drawn to me. So when the wanna-be fang set popped by and started chatting me up it was no surprise. She called me chaos b/c she couldn’t remember my name. I don’t think of myself as chaos but of course with my shields swirling around me to protect me from the ambient energy it may have felt chaotic. I am pretty much the one kept together in one motion and am pretty predictable, which is the opposite of chaos. Trying to channel the crazy while the wolf if being all depressed was a lot more work when you’re also filtering the drunk out.
I just want to find more people like me who are pass being adolescents. I know when people are awakened or whatever you want to call it then it can take time to get mature in your new skin, pun very much intended. Ya know, there are houses and groups all over the nation let alone the world of vampire and fae but very few others. I had a pride once……a long, long time ago. I miss it. A lot. But it is what it is. Some of us are solitary I just have to remember that.
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