Things always change. It is part of life. The big thing is how someone deals with change. I like change because I get bored of the same old crap day in and day out. I am moving and starting a new writing project. It feels amazing. I am worried about how the changes will affect relationships.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
It isn't the voices in your head
Went to see my mom today. Some people believe that in graveyards there are just dead folks walking around lost and lonely. They lie to you. There are not that many lost spirits around there. I think there are more animals than people just walking around. There was a couple there today. They weren't lost they were just there and didn't even realize I was there. There were more kittens and hawks and puppies just hanging around. I guess I go out there to see if one day my mom will be there. She never is which I guess is a good thing. I know I feel her presence but never more. I don't know what I believe yet as far as the after life. I assume we all move on until were ascend. Why there are spirits still here? I haven't gotten that far in my studies. I just know how to find them and close them out when need be. I never really thought about asking.
Random prose
This darkness it eats away at you. I've watched you in all your glory become nothing but a bad reflection of your self. Lost and a danger to those that ask of your well being. The rain clouds never vanish from your world. I hand your the umbrella but you ignore it. So destined to be nothing more than a sad memory
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Silver bullets and tiaras.
Unedited rant! So everyone knows that otherkin exist. I don't how much you believe or not. I have a friend who doesn't know anything about anything and she goes "there's something about you. you're part cat." I have never laughed so hard internally ever. I made a joke about a scratch that I had gotten from a friend's cat. So I said "the full moons tomorrow let's see if I turn into a werekitten." She got serious and was like "we already know I've seen your reflexes and unexplainable strength". So I never said a thing b/c she just wouldn't be able to wrap her mind about it. How do explain to someone who doesn't understand the mundane world about the extraordinary world? I chose not to and just ate my ice cream in peace.
One thing I love about my boyfriend is that he gets me. No matter how weird it is to have your fiance be part pet he still loves me. He said something the other day that made everything else just blow for the rest of the day. He goes "I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I bet you were a beautiful tiger". He may never know how much that means to me but it means the world. He loves everything about me even when I get difficult and I'm more tiger than woman b/c something has pissed me the f off. It doesn't hurt that he's an occult expert. Its just been crap on my mind.
How do you live in a mundane world when you're anything but? I tell you it is the hardest thing in the world some days b/c you look at people and realize how much they are wasting their lives and you're just trying to be normal. I am a bit territorial and I can't explain that to regular folks of why you need to keep away from people and my desk. Or how they may get punched in the face because they are messing with my pride and they don't know it. When I know that I am better than people at work I feel like I should be able to challenge them and when I win i get to take their place. Other times I am just like them and I get into that jersey shore mentality. Not for long but enough to make me want to puke a little. IDK. I think i'm done ranting now
One thing I love about my boyfriend is that he gets me. No matter how weird it is to have your fiance be part pet he still loves me. He said something the other day that made everything else just blow for the rest of the day. He goes "I don't want you to take this the wrong way but I bet you were a beautiful tiger". He may never know how much that means to me but it means the world. He loves everything about me even when I get difficult and I'm more tiger than woman b/c something has pissed me the f off. It doesn't hurt that he's an occult expert. Its just been crap on my mind.
How do you live in a mundane world when you're anything but? I tell you it is the hardest thing in the world some days b/c you look at people and realize how much they are wasting their lives and you're just trying to be normal. I am a bit territorial and I can't explain that to regular folks of why you need to keep away from people and my desk. Or how they may get punched in the face because they are messing with my pride and they don't know it. When I know that I am better than people at work I feel like I should be able to challenge them and when I win i get to take their place. Other times I am just like them and I get into that jersey shore mentality. Not for long but enough to make me want to puke a little. IDK. I think i'm done ranting now
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Brief Rant on Relationships
The biggest part of any relationship is communication. I don't care if you're boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, affianced, sisters, brothers, bffs etc.....if you don't have a good communication level it probably is a very rocky relationship with trust issues. Talk about everything and anything this includes all non-verbal communication as well. You don't want to give off the wrong signals. The more you communicated to more comfortable you'll be when there's those sticky issues you need to discuss. things that you might not feel that comfortable w/at first will be easier to talk about.
The above is what I posted to my Facebook and it got me thinking even more. My fiancé responded with “I say all relationships are maintained with carefully orchestrated lies and half truths. Ask and old married couple. They will tell you.” So how should I feel about that???? What the heck is up with our communication? I screwed up in the early years of our relationship with lies and hiding information and tons of secrets. Since then I like to be honest but am I not supposed to?
No this isn’t one of those post about relationships was just thinking about it. A friend of mine who we will call Meagan has just gotten married and has since found a guy that she is sexually attracted to. She is being tempted and doesn’t know how to react so she asked about a few things. I told her the truth and advised her to talk to her husband and see what happens. She would not be able to keep it a secret and knowing him……well…..he might not be too happy. Possibly a bit violently not happy and I do not want to be part of that. Ya know plausible deniability. If you cheat it isn’t good. Getting emotionally involved it will end bad where as letting him know that there might be a need for some new flavor it’ll be a lot easier. I do not condone sleeping around when you’re in any committed relationship but I do recommend letting your other half know that there may be a need for something a little extra. The idea of wanting to be with someone else sometimes stems from lack of excitement in the bedroom. Personally it takes a lot to be sexually attracted to another man. It has been years. If it happens I will tell my fiancé. I won’t go jumping another guys bones. If I need to then we’ll discuss it. Sometimes you just need to fuck someone else and get it out your system. Biggest rule DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. Ok got that out of my system. I feel better.
****Side note I love him b/c he gets me. I can talk to him about anything from what I’m reading to magick to the economy and everywhere in between. I don’t have to be someone else. He is the only person who I can be me in front of no matter how much it shows my weirdness. I can belch, cry and spit in front of him and it doesn’t matter.
The above is what I posted to my Facebook and it got me thinking even more. My fiancé responded with “I say all relationships are maintained with carefully orchestrated lies and half truths. Ask and old married couple. They will tell you.” So how should I feel about that???? What the heck is up with our communication? I screwed up in the early years of our relationship with lies and hiding information and tons of secrets. Since then I like to be honest but am I not supposed to?
No this isn’t one of those post about relationships was just thinking about it. A friend of mine who we will call Meagan has just gotten married and has since found a guy that she is sexually attracted to. She is being tempted and doesn’t know how to react so she asked about a few things. I told her the truth and advised her to talk to her husband and see what happens. She would not be able to keep it a secret and knowing him……well…..he might not be too happy. Possibly a bit violently not happy and I do not want to be part of that. Ya know plausible deniability. If you cheat it isn’t good. Getting emotionally involved it will end bad where as letting him know that there might be a need for some new flavor it’ll be a lot easier. I do not condone sleeping around when you’re in any committed relationship but I do recommend letting your other half know that there may be a need for something a little extra. The idea of wanting to be with someone else sometimes stems from lack of excitement in the bedroom. Personally it takes a lot to be sexually attracted to another man. It has been years. If it happens I will tell my fiancé. I won’t go jumping another guys bones. If I need to then we’ll discuss it. Sometimes you just need to fuck someone else and get it out your system. Biggest rule DO NOT GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. Ok got that out of my system. I feel better.
****Side note I love him b/c he gets me. I can talk to him about anything from what I’m reading to magick to the economy and everywhere in between. I don’t have to be someone else. He is the only person who I can be me in front of no matter how much it shows my weirdness. I can belch, cry and spit in front of him and it doesn’t matter.
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