In these moments.

I wish my mother was here. I need that support, that shoulder to cry on, and unbiased advice. I long for those all night conversations and her telling it like it is.

Up to the day she passed I never told her about me and it hurts knowing there was lies. I want her back but am glad she's gone b/c she has no more issues.

Some nights I feel alone. There are things that only my mom knew b/c I could tell her everything. I miss that. I miss her singing. I miss her smile. I miss her smell. She's not going to be here for one if the biggest days of my life. I miss her so much.

I'm in Awe

It's been years. Several years I would say. I have watched the sunrise countless times. But this morning...I felt it. I haven't been this attuned since I was Awakened. It was deliriously delicious.  I wish everyone could feel it. At first it was terrifying because I didn't know what it was. But once I did remember...I hope I feel it always. Shit it's been almost a decade if not more. It feels good.

The Tiger and the Vampire

We're getting married.  I know I cannot believe either.  I never thought that I would settle down.  Now here we are 50 days away from making it official.  Who knew the beast could be tamed?

Finish... An elder scrolls game?.. :) http://i.imgur.com/xaCG6.png Shared using #RageReader for Android http://bit.ly/rreader

You can't always be content with where you are. There's going to have to be drive and ambition. Don't get stagnant or else you will feel nothing has been accomplished.

I must apologize to the world for my grumpiness today. It is my mothers birthday and I was having one of those days where I remember how much I miss her. She would have been 59. i put a lot of negative energy out in the world and I'm sorry. Some days I know she's around then there are other days I feel alone and that I am lost the most. I miss her and wish she was here to guide me and give me the advice that I need. In the end I couldn't take care of here like she did me. So I kind of feel like shit for the way I've treated people. Here I am alone in need of more than just a kind word but someone to comfort me. I know I can stand alone but occasionally I need that support but its ok. I'm going to be alright.

Hmm?

What do you do? I don't know but I realize that I just have to stop caring because its causing me too much heart ache and stress. A zebra cannot change it's stripes and a demon cannot change it's horns. Let the pieces fall where they fall and I can only accept it in the end. I will regain my strength so that I may stand on my own when there is only me left. The universe will settle it all in its own way. I am but a humble worker and watcher. I will not press my will against any others. I will let them stand and do what they will. The out come they will deal with and I will stand whole and pure. Let those who will lie, deceive, wish I'll toward me and go against me no only the wrath that comes from my rage and perseverance. Those who intend/ed nothing but good deeds and positivity be met with the same. As it will be from this day to end of my days.